The Water's Edge

I dreamt I walked along the water's edge,
and carried something I should not get wet.
I teetered as I walked along this ledge,
and for all my carefulness I fell yet.

As I struggled to keep my parcel dry
I found myself losing my balance more.
Once I'd righted myself, before my eyes
was a seal who would keep me from the shore.

As I pondered on whether seals do bite,
I noticed this seal wore a scuba mask.
Soon I found myself frozen by my fright
I wondered: would I reach the shore at last?

Alas! I confess I may never know,
for in water I was, then I awoke.

In the Name of the Father

So I got caught up watching a movie
that did end at 11:56
I knew not that it was so sure to be
a movie with such great thrills and great tricks

It was called In the Name of the Father
and it also starred Daniel Day-Lewis
there were aspects that really did bother
but I had no trouble getting through it

a man is tortured and he does confess
to a grave crime that he did not commit
and for the next years he does do his best
to prove that he really is innocent

The thing that truly gives this movie spice
is that it's based on an actual life

Time

I wish I could pull time out of my butt.
That is how summer school's making me feel.
I feel exhausted or at least somewhat
as time flies by at a pace that's unreal.

It's not that the work is really too hard,
it's the pace that is giving me trouble.
When fall arrives I am sure to be scarred
for working at a pace that is doubled.

Maybe the sole answer is not new time,
maybe I could move at a slower speed.
If I my motions in half time do mime
will all time itself slow down around me?

For wondering this I must now hasten
to make up any time I have wasted.

Net Neutrality

All tweets would be frozen before they'd sent.
We'd have to keep statuses to ourselves,
and wonder where the cat videos went.
We'd have to dust off all our bookshelves.

Who would dare to think that Net Neutrality
could in some way be a valid option?
The net relies on electricity
which requires the movement of electrons

If somehow the net were to be neutral
Then the electrons could not flow freely
The net would become useless and futile
and all the web pages would cease to be

I ask: Who argues for neutrality
in fact the net needs negativity

Vick

Today I had trouble trying to pick
what the subject of my sonnet should be.
"I've got an idea!" said my friend Vick
"Today your sonnet should be about me"

And so about Vick today I will write.
Vick does live in the state of Washington,
and so we do speak mostly in the night
for his eight o'clock is my eleven.

I admit I've not know Vick for too long,
and so I don't know his life's history.
But so far I have seen him do no wrong,
and so far he's only been nice to me.

So here's to a guy I know is awesome;
I hope our friendship will further blossom.

Test-Drive Gone Wrong

I pulled up to Sheetz to grab a quick bite.
I turned into the closet parking space.
As I looked to my left and then my right,
I saw beside me and made a strange face.

There on my left an old Buick was parked,
and on its bumper was a dealer plate.
Perhaps they had on a test drive embarked,
and needed a bite as the day grew late.

Then in the driver's seat I saw a man,
with a hat on his face, taking a nap.
A bike sat in the back of this sedan,
buckled in the seat with the seatbelt strap.

I cannot begin to think to describe
the backstory behind this man inside.

Matthew McConaughey's Butt

I looked at Matthew McConaughey's butt

And in it I saw the truth of the world

This clearly was not just some piece of smut

As life's meaning did begin to unfurl

With every dimple and rippling muscle

One more universal truth was revealed

And with every shimmy and hustle

I saw how another fate had been sealed 

I stared; I could not take my eyes away
from these jiggling cheeks of eternity
he donned his pants at the end of the day
and then the vision slipped away from me

No other movie has clarity like
the visions revealed within Magic Mike

Rushing

I'm about to miss my sonnet deadline
I can't believe that I almost forgot
I am almost out of my writing time
so I hope this effort is not for not

I am a bit rushed so forgive these lines
for they may not be my most poetic
but if I cannot complete this short rhyme
truly I will feel very pathetic

I apologize for this lapse of mine
I can't believe it's so close to midnight
I'm so close to done just a few more lines
Tomorrow the time will not be so tight

It seems I have made it with naught to spare
I am just glad that I have made it there

Ordinary

Woe! Nothing inspiring happened today
So this sonnet is not bound to inspire
Nothing happened in an abnormal way
I found extra effort not required

I woke up this morning and went to work
in the same manner as I always do.
No one that I met seemed to be a jerk
I was not ecstatic, also not blue

I'd say that today was ordinary,
and today that was not such a bad thing.
There was nothing bad or strange or hairy
just a day to relax and enjoy spring

While sometimes a good day is what I want
sometimes just as good is nonchalant

Naptime

Who decided adults don't need naptime?
Why does it stop after kindergarten?
I find most days a nap would be sublime;
after breaktime I just can't get started.

I guess no one says I can't take a nap,
but is it really considered normal?
I'll put on my nightgown and sleeping cap,
and just plop down somewhere that's informal

And as I lay there asleep on the floor
will anyone dare disturbe my slumber?
For while they may think me a horrid boor,
their awe will let me sleep unencumbered.

Yes I think I shall try this naptime soon
whether at my school, the bank, or the moon

Possession

I pick up cars and put them on the shelf,
cleaning is easy without one year olds.
It's just so much faster to do myself;
toddlers are unlikely to do as told.

I picked up this one toy with Elmo's face,
"Let's play!" Elmo said as I jostled him.
I smirked and put the toy back in its place;
I could not have thought it was be so grim.

I walked to the other side of the room;
I started putting other toys away.
I was sure that this toy would be my doom,
when once again I heard the words "Let's play!"

He kept talking while no one was around
Woe! I was haunted by this phantom sound!

Blank Page

I stared at the blank page in front of me,
and wondered if the page would fill itself.
How could I know what the right words will be?
Are they hiding somewhere up on a shelf?

Oh why must this blank page be so daunting?
I can see empty space, but not my thoughts.
This white rectangle so large and haunting
surely has many men to madness brought.

I stare a bit longer, but it's still blank...
The deadline is starting to worry me
I guess I have only myself to thank
For the dilemma I let come to be

I sit and I write till I feel a lull,
and then finally I find my page full

Jetski

We sat on it and pushed the start button;
we wanted the jetski to go so fast.
Its silence as we tried to turn it on
led us to see that it was out of gas.

We stopped at the gas station on the way
to get dinner and filled the gas tank up.
We knew that we'd soon be able to play
as we covered the tank lid with a cup.

We got home and filled the jetski's gas tank
then got on it and got ready to ride.
Alas! This must be some sort of cruel prank!
The ski's battery had already died...

If jetski's ran on determination,
we'd have ridden it the whole vacation

Crazy Cat Man

Once there was a man with a thousand cats,
and those thousand and one lived in a house.
Every evening they would sit and chat,
and of course there was not a single mouse.

Out back he had a giant litter box
where the cats could all go do their "duty"
He had a room full of abandoned socks;
his pantry held catnip as his booty.

His walls were made out of scratching post board,
and he played with his cats all day each day.
They were his subjects and he was their lord;
none of them would have it another way.

Some may have called him a crazy cat man,
but shouldn't he enjoy life if he can?

A Weekend at the Lake

Today I will leave for a staff retreat;
we're going away for the whole weekend.
I'm not sure what we'll do or who we'll meet,
but I'm pretty sure I'll get to sleep in.

We're going to stay at someone's lake house,
but I don't remember exactly where.
Will we all stay dry or swim and be doused?
I guess that depends on the whether there.

There might be some work, but mostly some play;
I know for sure that there will be some rest.
For all of the staff these have been long days,
and for all of us naps would be the best

I look forward to these days at the lake
I feel that I could really use a break

Not so Bad

Now the first week of summer school is done,
and actually it wasn't so bad.
I didn't have time to lay in the sun,
but I also can't say no fun was had.

I think that I am going to survive;
the load's not much bigger than normal class.
I can both get good grades and say alive.
I don't have to choose to pay bills or pass!

That's right! I've decided to keep my job!
I think I can make it for four more weeks...
I think I'll keep clean and not be a slob
A smile's beginning to spread on my cheeks.

I feel optimistic and not worried
I think that I won't feel quite so hurried

Porcelain

This morning I found myself late for work
not by much, but a few minutes behind.
I tried to move quickly, not go berserk,
but my tardiness was still on my mind.

As I drove on, I looked down at my clock;
I could tell that I would not be on time.
I wanted to run, but traffic did walk.
My anxiety did begin to climb.

Just then as I started to feel this stress,
I saw something strange lying in the road...
It was a white porcelain crumbled mess,
then I saw the remnants of a commode.

Somehow a crushed toilet lay in the street;
my laughter removed all stress I would meet.

Thought

I was walking on the side of the road
When a peculiar thought came to my mind
Even though I would soon read my abode
No other thoughts filled my head I would find

I sat and I thought while eating my lunch
Then I thought some more while lying in bed
I was still unable to shake this hunch
it seemed this thought had infected my head

I stopped pondering and tried to forget
so that I could think about something else
I'd forget for hours then start to fret
that I'd never know how empty thoughts felt

I wonder if I'll lie awake at night
a nagging thought is worse than a bright light

Summer School

Today my summer school classes begin;
I face them with both excitement and dread.
Will they be like other classes have been?
or will the new fast pace leave me for dead?

Fourteen hours a week, I'll be in class,
and all of this time in the evening
At least at 8:30 I can relax;
I'm sure each night that will be relieving

With work and school, I'll be ready to crash
every night as I come home to bed.
I'll lay perfectly still without a thrash
while the sweetest dreams will dance in my head

Maybe rather than worry about this,
I should just wait and then see how it is

Mother

On this day we celebrate our mothers,
and certainly mine's worth celebrating.
Given the choice, there would be no other;
the whole day long her praises I could sing.

No single day in my life has gone by
where my mother has not been there for me,
and even though lately time seems to fly,
when I need to slow down it's mom I see

Years ago she brought me into the world,
and there is no gift that repays that debt.
No amount of gift wrapped or ribbon curls,
are close to the gifts you deserve to get.

And though I've not always acted that way,
I love you all year, not just mother's day.

Decisions

There are times when you just have to wing it
and times when you have no clue what to do.
And when you don't know, not even a bit
it is to yourself that you must stay true.

There are times when we face big decisions,
but none of the answers are really right.
We can go with someone else's vison
or for what we want we can always fight.

And then there are times when we know what's right,
but it isn't the same as what we want.
There may be a goal that we have in sight,
but worry the wrong decision may haunt.

But how do we ever know what to do?
The truth is, what right is is up to you.

Unique?

Oh what should I write a sonnet about?

I find myself fresh out of ideas

I'm not even sure as I write this out

That this sonnet is a uniquity

I know that I've had this feeling before
A panic of know clue what to write
I should not let this happen anymore!
I'm scared that I won't get it done tonight...

But where do I get my inspiration
The world is large and experience vast
but I keep encountering frustration
That I've not had with sonnets in the past

Maybe I just need to write them sooner
maybe include a little more humor

Mary had a Little Lamb?

I had a strange thought as I tried to sleep
Just why did Mary have a little lamb?
What kind of parent buys their kid a sheep?
And what would be next a gold-plated ham?

I bet that Mary was a spoiled brat!
She probably acted up all the time
I bet she had all she wanted at that;
in her parents' eyes she could do no crime

Did they even care she brought it to school?
Did they think that her actions were errant?
When they say that it was against the rules
were they those of the school or the parents?

But I don't thing I'll ever meet Mary,
so I'll fall asleep with this quandary.

ADHDcept...OOOOH Shiny

I as I sat trying to write a paper,
my ADHD began to kick in.
So I thought of the words of my doctor,
and I went to search for my prescription.

I started to search for my medicine
but I stopped in my tracks with a shudder...
Somewhere was a bottle of Ritalin,
but it was lost beneath all my clutter.

I knew I'd have to clean to find my pills,
but I would need to find my pills to clean.
Oh! This conundrum was giving me chills!
Oh why must the universe be so mean!

I guess I will just have to focus through;
I know I can... what does this button do?

Love in Bloom

It all started out with a simple vase 

hand decorated with love and kittens.

Two big yellow flowers became the base

for a story about to be written

As each child came in, they added a flower

and into that painted vase they did go.

The vase was filled up within an hour,

and I saw on my face a smile grow.

Throughout the whole day my heart felt so warm

It was a simple act, but yet so kind

A light that would shine through the darkest storm,

and for the whole day it was on my mind

Now each time I look at that flowered vase

that warm smile reappears across my face.

In The Dark

The children were sleeping above my head

I sat below at the kitchen table

I babysat them, but they were in bed

To get work done, I knew I'd be able.

I searched peer-reviewed journal articles

so I could finish my research project.

Then up above, I saw a small twinkle.

I looked once again; the light gave a flick.

I held my breath, but the power went out,

alas! with it it took out the wifi!

I was mortified; I wanted to shout!

But I was relieved not to hear a cry

I sat and I waited for that great spark,

But I sat for an hour in the dark

Mad Lib Sonnet

A note:

Yes, this is a sonnet in the form of a mad lib. I have listed the word types and the number of syllables needed for each blank and then the sonnet with the place holders for the different blanks. I have also included a version that a friend of mine worked through. Please post your results in the comments! 

1. Adj (2 Syl)
2. Place (2 Syl)
3. Noun (2 Syl)
4. Noun (2 Syl)
5. Animal (2 Syl)
6. Verb Past Tense (3 Syl)
7. Emotion as adj (2 Syl)
8. Verb Past Tense (2 Syl)
9. Adverb (3 Syl)
10. Verb Past Tense (1 Syl)
11. Noun (1 Syl)
12. Verb infinitive(1 Syl)

Long ago there was a           1           bunny

In the land of          2           she made her home

Her          3           smelled like the sweetest honey

And she spread          4           everywhere she roamed

One day she met a           5            on the road

"Have you ever          6          ?" he asked her

She felt so          7           and it surely showed

She          8           as the          5           eyed her fur

"Why do you ask?" she          9           replied

But the          5           just          10           and gave a grin

And she realized it was her          11           he eyed

She needed to          12          or she'd never win

So          12          she did and for almost a day.

When she was done, the          5           went away.

Completed with friends' answers:

Thx Nicky:

Long ago there was a crunchy bunny

In the land of Denver she made her home

Her toilet smelled like the sweetest honey

And she spread pilot everywhere she roamed

One day she met a jaguar on the road

"Have you ever embarrassed?" he asked her

She felt so angry and it surely showed

She giggled as the jaguar eyed her fur

"Why do you ask?" she sexily replied

But the jaguar just just hit and gave a grin

And she realized it was her butt he eyed

She needed to choke or she'd never win

So choke she did and for almost a day.

When she was done, the jaguar went away.

Thx Talos:


Long ago there was a gruesome bunny

In the land of nation she made her home

Her people smelled like the sweetest honey

And she spread city everywhere she roamed

One day she met a raven on the road

"Have you ever devoured?" he asked her

She felt such sorrow and it surely showed

And she beat as the raven eyed her fur

"Why do you ask?" she quietly replied

But the raven hated and gave a grin

And she realized it was her home he eyed

She needed to rise or she'd never win

So rise she did and for almost a day.

When she was done, the raven went away.

And uh... Thx Kevin:

Long ago there was a poopy bunny

In the land of Poopville she made her home

Her poopie smelled like the sweetest honey

And she spread poopie everywhere she roamed

One day she met a poopbill on the road

"Have you ever poopiéd?" he asked her

She felt so poopéd and it surely showed

She poopéd as the jaguar eyed her fur

"Why do you ask?" she poopily replied

But the poopbill just just hit and gave a grin

And she realized it was her poop he eyed

She needed to poop or she'd never win

So poop she did and for almost a day.

When she was done, the poopbill went away.

Prodigal Pants

The prodigal pants have at last returned!
Those few hours without them seemed so long.
As I look back on how deeply I yearned
I feel that this new joy warrants a song!

I picked up the pants from their hiding place
I pulled them from the floor, onto my legs.
Soon a tiny grin spread across my face
as I went downstairs for my morning eggs.

I walked out the door, but something felt off;
this morning had not gone the way it should.
I cast off my adverse thoughts with a scoff;
this day was simply destined to be good!

But alas! At work, I look all about,
and realized my pants were on inside-out.

Pants Anxiety

I was getting ready for work today
I started to put on my uniform
I put on the shirt in my normal way
so next came the pants that would keep me warm

I looked in the hamper-- they were not there!
Alas! Why must I meet such a stressor??
Perhaps I had washed them since their last wear;
Maybe they were inside of my dresser?

I frantically scrambled around my room
Where oh where could my work pants be hiding
I would have to leave for work very soon,
my anxiety was not subsiding!

Finally I raised a white flag of sorts,
and I just went to work wearing my shorts.

Google it

Why are you asking me all these questions

while you're connected to the internet?

Do you just have some secret obsession?

Is this a sick game to make me upset?

You asked what pork is... are you serious?!?

Sometimes I swear you're just messing with me...

Or maybe are you just delirious

I mean... how stupid can one person be?

You asked me to diagnose your parents

You told me about all of their symptoms

I bet you'd ask me for legal defense

You need answers, and I'm your source for them!

So shut up and quit being so stupid!

Oh come on! Why don't you just Google it!!!

Slumber

While the other children played with their toys,
one single child laid lone on the floor.
Though generally one of the rowdy boys,
today he lay still with a quiet snore.

It seemed nothing would disturb his slumber
as he lay asleep holding a toy car.
Around him the other kids did lumber;
one even stepped on the sleeping boy's arm.

I thought nothing would rouse this tired child;
It seemed that he was determined to sleep.
All the other children were going wild,
but yet he continued to make no peep.

Finally after twenty minutes past,
he sat up and said he'd had a good nap.