Auf Deutsch

I tried to write a sonnet in German

but I found it just a little too hard

and even though I was quite determined

I just wasn't able to get very far.

I think I could do it if I had time,

but one evening just isn't enough.

I learned that it is much harder to rhyme

when you have to look all of the rhymes up.

I may have given up for this one night,

but I'll take my time and try it again

I am not going to give up this fight;

I'll win, I just don't know exactly when.

A sonnet in German I will soon write,

Alas! Sadly it will not be tonight

5511

I took my first Praxis-II test today
so now that's one down and one more to go
I ate some breakfast and went on my way
confident in all the things that I know

I arrived and I signed in right on time
"Did you bring a calculator?" he said
My face went as white as a startled mime
it was home on a table near my bed.

I knew I could do it all on paper
but still I was nervous about this test
and surely this would be a time waster
but I would still make sure to do my best.

At the end I looked and was shocked to see
a perfect math score looking back at me

Hummingbird

A small hummingbird flew by the window
and it took a quick drink from a feeder.
It floated above the ground far below
with the smooth movement of a egg-beater.

She moved to the window to take a peak
as the bird stopped for a fast fly-through meal.
Dipping into the feeder with it's beak
with quick motions that were almost surreal.

She took one more step and the bird took heed,
and quickly it snapped up to attention.
The bird moved away from this chance to feed
disappearing to some new dimension.

And so she learned that this is a fact:
to observe, one must also interact.

Dream Muffins

I dreamt of my rabbit the other night,
but rather than being adorable
something about her was just not quite right
in fact it was rather quite horrible.

The first strange thing was that Muffins could talk
and the things she said were somewhat creepy
Instead of hop, on two legs she did walk
and the motions she made were quite eerie.

Stacked up the hay from within her cage
to build a step so that she could climb out
while building it she spoke with words of rage
and she was out for sheer revenge no doubt

But the real Muffins does not make me scream
so I am glad that this was just a dream

Guacamole

"Why do you smell just like guacamole?"

The kid I was babysitting asked this

I thought about what this question could mean

so that my answer would not be remiss.

What does guacamole even smell like?

Perhaps he just meant I smelled fresh and green.

While I don't think I smelled exactly ripe

I needed to bathe and was not so clean. 

I had been watching kids for the whole day,

so it's true that I may have been sweating.

To answer his question what could I say

that I would not be later regretting?

I told him the truth: I needed a bath,

but still didn't know what I had been asked.

Guest Sonnet: "Lover's Quarrel"

When the flowers bloom in spring

The heavens will begin to open.

People will do anything

When their hearts get broken

The fear that fills the mind

Is hazardous and deadly

It makes many go blind

It makes your hands seem redly

When you lose control

Many others will get hurt

It could take atoll

And makes you quiet like dirt.

 if you wonder why you've been abused

realize that person has been bruised.

The Thrill of the Clip

Alas! Where have all my good coupons gone??

And where are my weekly mailers of ads?

Will the coupon fairy hear my sad song?

Will she bring me something to make me glad?

I walk into the house and see them there

a pile of newsprint sits on the table!

For a moment all I can do is stare;

reality has become a fable.

I take them and carry them up the stairs,

and with a big grin I begin to clip

I cut coupons 'til the pages are bare

and soon my coupon folder is equipped!

But woe! The rush of clipping does soon fade!

and until the next week's ads I must wait!

Forgiveness

Will I ever be able to trust you
after all of the hurt that you've caused me?
After everything that we've been through
why is it so hard to just let it be?

I know that I'll have to get over it,
but right now I just don't know how I will.
Maybe I will just have to think and sit,
and finally I'll be able to chill.

I know you really can't help it I guess
I must admit that it's hard to stay mad
I look at your ears and your furry chest
and wetting my bed doesn't seem that bad.

Muffins, I guess I forgive you this time,
but please don't repeat this disgusting crime!

Blind Sonnet

I am trying to write this sonnet blind
thatsto say without looking at the keys...
and with that said I hov=pe that you won't mynd
if  there are more typos than you would please

I guess we'll see how good my typing is
as I type these lines with my head laid down
I guess my rhyme scheme is alo at risk
if I can't remember the last line's sound

now that I'm made it to the third stanza
I think this idea was not so good
q=this is not quite an extravaganza,
but I suppose it has lightened my mood.

Finally I have reached this blind poem's end
now I'll look and see what I could not mend.

(Wow! That turned out a lot better than I expected!)

Soiled

My rabbit was running around my room
to get exercise as she does each day.
I went briefly to the bathroom to groom,
and on my return was met with dismay.

For upon my bed my dear Muffins sat,
and upon my sheets a yellow puddle.
She'd peed on my bed, and to add to that,
she thought that I'd still want to cuddle!

I picked her up and put her in HER bed,
and began to deal with the mess at hand.
The dirty sheets from my mattress were shed;
I praised the best extra sheets in the land.

One set of sheets may have been left quite soiled,
but preparedness meant my night was not spoiled.

Mystery Meat

"This grey lump is supposedly bacon"
that is what my mother's text said to me
maybe the head chef was just mistaken
when he wrote down what the menu would be.

My mother is in Canada you see,
and she'd ordered some bacon with breakfast,
and she'd hoped to solve a great mystery:
what sort of bacon they'd bring when she asked.

The mystery grows more mysterious
In light of this latest discovery
This investigation is serious,
and I wonder what the answer will be.

So now with this grey and lumpy surprise,
she'll just have to increase her sample size.

Mourning the Living

I mourned you although you are not yet dead;
I had no intent to see you again,
but here you are, swimming around my head,
just checking in like an old childhood friend.

It almost is like grieving a loved one
who many years ago ha passed away.
If one day they called me up on the phone,
I just wouldn't know what to think or say.

So, knowing this how do you expect me
to know how I should respond to your words.
How did you even expect it to be?
Did you think that I'd forgotten the hurt?

I think you will just have to wait and see
what sort of response you will get from me.

Rollerskating

I did go rollerskating yesterday
I found it harder than I remembered
All of my memories were far away
like long ago forgotten September

I had no issue with moving forward,
but stopping soon proved to be a problem.
For trying I found my only reward
was falling swiftly upon my bottom.

This morning I woke, and to no surprise
I found that my body was fairly sore.
It took quite some effort from bed to rise,
and every small task was quite a chore.

Yet after all of this is said and done,
I still must admit that it was great fun!

200

Two hundreds sonnets today I have reached
a mighty number for all to behold!
And as this two-hundred mark I have breached
I see a future with wonders untold!

I see sonnets! At least two hundred more
full of great heroes and greater treasures
I'll share my feelings, my hopes, and my chores,
together we'll delight in life's pleasures.

And what will the next 200 days bring? 

I surely can't even begin to guess.

I'll find the good things and praises to sing,

But will there be bad days? Certainly yes

Each sonnet will be greater than the last;
my greatness will never be paralleled

Coverup

Today I had somewhat less ugly arms,
my big black and blue bruise is covered up.
This new look has led to much less alarm;
I don't look like I've been hit with a club.

The mark on my arm hasn't gone away,
but at least it has been concealed for now.
I'll apply this new makeup every day,
so that no one can tell what lies below.

After class monday, I knew I'd had it
I could not stand looking at it much more.
More grossed out than I  would like to admit,
I made a pit stop at the makeup store.

I hope this bruised time is not extensive
for this concealer was quite expensive.

Metasonnet

This is a sonnet, it has fourteen lines
it includes three quatrains and a couplet
It may seem confusing, but in short time
I'm sure that you will get the hang of it!

The quatrain rhyme schemes are A-B-A-B
C-D-C-D and E-F-E-F last
and then, of course, the couplet is G-G
with RhymeZone.com, it's an easy task!

Perhaps the hardest are the syllables
for every line needs exactly ten
alternating rhythm's not quite simple,
but when I get it wrong, I just pretend.

At last! At the end a little couplet
and now you know how to write a sonnet!`

Guaranteed to Win

I went to play Wii Sports the other day.
I find it to be a very fun game.
Tennis was the game I wanted to play,
but without a partner it's not the same

Sure, I could play against the computer,
but I'm not quite good enough to beat it,
and it's not fun to always be the loser,
and I might as well have just conceded.

And so I played doubles against myself:
a me and me team versus me and me.
'twas better than playing a robot elf,
for I was guaranteed to win you see.

While I might not say I've improved my skill,
this game was still certainly quite a thrill

A Book Review Sonnet: Basket Case

I finished an audio book today:
Basket Case, it's by Carl Hiaasen.
I will admit that I may have been swayed
by my love of what this author does pen.

Jack Tagger, he writes obituaries,
gets caught up within a suspicious case.
Jimmy (of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies)
has died, and Jack Tagger investigates.

Adventure ensues and some laughs are had
and the story is quite captivating.
To hear this book again I would be glad;
I'd give it a four or five star rating.

And with all of this said, I must content
that this is a book I would recommend.

Ugly Arms

Today my arms are both fairly ugly
(when I woke up only one of them was)
it will be some time before they're lovely
for it is quite clear that I am a klutz

The two large scratches on my right forearm
came from dear Muffins as I cut her nails
while I know she did not mean any harm,
she scratched me as in my arms she did flail.

To a large dark bruise, my left arm plays host
for a vein there has been infiltrated
I thought it would be a brief stick at most,
but no! This great spot precipitated

I guess I'll just deal with my ugly arms
for really, they're not doing any harm

Boots

As I did prepare to leave work today
the sky opened up and a flood rained down
I ran for my car and began to pray
that I would reach it before I did drown

I drove to the place where I'd meet my friend:
the restaurant we had agreed upon.
Alas! the rain still had not met its end
I sat in the car a moment, withdrawn.

I dreaded the sprint to the restaurant
and that water that would soon soak my feet
but my mood quickly changed to nonchalant
as I thought of the boots in my back seat

I'd forgotten that they were even there,
but they kept me dry through the soggy air.

Kelly

There was a caterpillar named Kelly
and she kept growing larger and larger
she at many leaves to fill her belly,
but she still had an unceasing hunger.

One day she ate all he leaves off a tree
and finally she did find her self full
then she found she only wanted to sleep
and began to doze off into a lull.

She found that it was to bright out to sleep
so she spun herself a dark chrysalis
then she fell until a a slumber so deep
she thought that she might never wake from it

Finally she awoke only to find
she had transformed into a butterfly

Segway

Today I was walking through a school hall;
I found the process quite inefficient.
While granted, the distance was somewhat small,
this trip would be better if different.

When I'm a teacher I'll ride a Segway
to get around from one class to the next!
I'll decorate it with bright orange flames,
and all the students will think I'm the best!

I'll zoom through the halls at the speed of light
passing teachers and dodging the students.
With blurs of classrooms to my left and right,
with safety I'll be sure to be prudent.

Thinking on this I admit that I fear
that this faraway dream is nowhere near.

Melting

I'm starting to think my brain is melting
the symptoms manifest in many ways
but sometimes I get a sense or feeling
that my mind has wandered off into space.

Sometimes I just lose things that I shouldn't
I know that I've moved them but don't know where
I'd like to prevent this, but I couldn't,
then I look and those things just aren't there

Then sometimes my head hurts for no reason:
out of the blue and without any cause.
It seems not to matter day or season
for headaches do not follow any laws.

And for these reasons I'm starting to fear
my brain will begin to leak out of my ear...

Eggs

Today I went to breakfast with a friend
We sat down and we looked at the menus
I read it until I got to the end
I felt I was ready to continue

The waitress say "How would you like your eggs?"
It's a question, I'm sure, she has to ask.
I wondered would she turn and run away
if I were to say "raw and in a glass"

Surely someone has asked for this before
maybe they wanted to be like Rocky?
I'm sure stranger people walk in the door
maybe they want to bulk up for hockey?

I don't think I could quite keep a straight face
If I wanted such an order to place

Only Typing

As much as I'd like to share Parker's work,
handwriting each day is a little much.
Don't get me wrong, it's not starting to irk,
but it can be hard to add this small touch.

On many days this is not a problem,
but on some days I can barely manage
for somedays I am not writing from home
and pen and paper are not within range.

I promise I'll try as much as I can
to hand write a sonnet for you each day
but life does not always follow a plan
and all things do not always go my way

So yes, today I am only typing
I hope that tomorrow I'll be writing

Suicide

Two years ago today, you went away
I'm still not quite sure why you had to go
I'm sure you felt like you had no escape,
but now you're missed more than you could have known.

Not a single day has been quite the same
since I got the call saying you were gone
the room still falls silent when speaking your name
and I can't believe that it has been so long.

I know missing you won't ever be good,
but over time it has gotten better
now happy memories lighten the mood
as we are not to our mourning fettered

There's sure to be laughter as well as tears
and many will miss you for all their years.

Wheel of Fortune

I sat and watched Wheel of Fortune tonight.
Everything seemed just as usual,
but I found my assessment not quite right:
One contestant had a way with the wheel.

He certainly seemed to know how to solve,
and on the show that is not unusual,
but it seems that luck was also involved
as he spun only cash without issue.

Twenty-thousand dollars was his amount
while one contestant won nothing at all
he'd also won prizes to great to count
I think, safe to say, he had a ball.

He answered the bonus round in a jif
and won 50K more to show for it!

Endless Combinations

There are times when I buy things at the store
and wonder what the cashier thinks of me.
Do they even notice it anymore,
or all they all laughing internally?

Febreze on it's own is not so funny,
but I bought crayons and underwear too…
Did they keep a straight face for my money?
and what would adding some laxatives do?

I wonder the weirdest things that they've seen
one single person purchase together.
How about Legos and some Vaseline?
Maybe Jell-o, lasagna, and feathers?

There are possibilities without end
I will just have to ask a retail friend

The Chinese Food Dilemma

I stopped after class for some Chinese food
I figured I would just grab a quick bite
For sesame chicken is always good
and I hadn't had much to eat that night.

I got my food and I got in the car,
and I felt my stomach begin to growl.
So before I had gotten very far,
I decided to sneak a taste of fowl.

I waited until I'd stopped at a light;
I grabbed something tasty without concern.
I took one and then another small bite,
but soon I felt something hot start to burn.

Alas! on my chin, I now have a scar
from eating Chinese food inside my car!

Penmanship

Once there was a young girl who loved to write,

but she found her own penmanship lacking

her words were as beautiful as sunlight,

but her letters had taken a whacking 

She thought she would practice every day

by copying lines from within a book

Carefully she would pore over each page

at the end of the day she'd take a look

Finally after many days had passed

she looked at the page and liked what she saw

ready to return to her words at last

she sat at her desk with a sense of awe

With pen to paper she started to think,

but soon learned that she had used all her ink!

Halfway

As of now it is halfway through the year

(well at least that's the case in my timezone)

I can't believe this point's already here,

and I can't believe how the time has flown.

Here's my hundred and eighty-third sonnet

that's so many more than I would have thought

I had thought that I might give up on it,

But clearly, as you can see, I have not!

One hundred eighty-two and one half days

Now do remain in two thousand thirteen

I'm sure I'll get through them in my own way

whether by sleep, prayer or much caffeine.

I don't know what each of these days will bring,

but I'm sure that I'll find praises to sing!

Fountain Pen Part III

Translation:

My fountain pen came in the mail today;

I knew I must write a sonnet with it.

I am more excited than I can say

a little more than I care to admit…

I see me writing an epic poem

armed with only my paper, ink and pen!

Always prepared to write in the moment:

describing the now, preserving for then

Alas I am starting to realize

there maybe be a flaw in this awesome plan

As I gaze at my writing with my eyes

I think I'll have to practice with my hand

So until my penmanship has improved

I will provide a "translation" for you